The Barmaiden

Waiting Tables Isn’t For Everyone

If you have ever thought about waiting tables and just aren’t sure if you can pull it off then let me just say that waiting tables isn’t for everyone. In fact, I have worked with some extremely shitty servers. If you can do 15 things at once, have lots of patience, and don’t mind working in an environment filled with profanity and poop jokes then you might be up for the challenge. Heck, you might even make a lot of money doing it.

To give you some insight into my day, I have broken down exactly how I spend my time at work.

15% explaining cooking temperatures

2% taking food back to the kitchen because people failed to listen to me when I explained cooking temperatures

5% answering menu related questions like “what is your favorite thing on the menu?’

3% taking orders after people say “that doesn’t sound like something I would like… I’ll have…”

5% avoiding answering personal questions by making up complete fabrications that require no additional explanations (I will teach you how to do this someday, I promise)

5% having genuine conversations with guests who are polite and friendly

10% running back and forth to get things because people are not considerate enough to ask for everything at once - including bringing refills to guests who changed their mind about wanting a refill, even though I asked them when they only had half of a swallow left

5% doing menial side work or rolling silverware

5% sexually harassing my managers - including the female ones

5% gossiping about co-workers

15% doing other people’s jobs

10% making sure my tables aren’t in need of anything

15% completely goofing off - turning everything into a joke about my vagina - making fun of my co-workers - making fun of guests with insane hairstyles or no sense of fashion - thinking of things to blog about